Pre-baby:
Drop a jar of jelly on the kitchen floor, shout a profanity or 2, take 3 minutes to clean it up, move on with your life and hope you don't step on a tiny piece of glass 2 months from now when you stumble into the kitchen to get a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Post-baby:
Drop a jar of jelly on the kitchen floor, have 2 minutes to frantically clean while baby eats a banana in his high chair, keep baby out of the kitchen until nap time, spend 30 minutes sweeping, mopping, sweeping, shuffling your feet looking for glass, searching under the cabinets and rug, sweeping, whispering a profanity or 8, mopping, whispering more profanities, praying that baby doesn't find a tiny piece of glass in the next year as he crawls around and walks on tiny, delicate bare feet. Sweep some more. Think of tiny baby feet with broken glass in them. Mop again.
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| I HATE YOU |
