summer days

I'm feeling pretty lucky that our good friends who live just 10 minutes away have a pool, and that I'm able to spend summer days enjoying the sun with my boy. Today was our 2nd time swimming together in their pool, and it was such an improvement from last time! On our first attempt Kyle didn't want to be in the water unless he was clinging to me like a koala - and even then he wasn't really feeling it. But today he was much more comfortable, and had a great time floating in his raft and smiling away! Cheers to an amazing summer ahead!

end of an era

Kyle is no longer nursing and I'm sad.

It's been 8 days since we stopped. Since he was around 13 months old we were nursing first thing in the morning and at night, with whole milk bottles during the day. But then we would start skipping sessions now and then, and last week we skipped even more. So I decided it was a great opportunity to wean him, since he didn't seem to mind. After I made that decision, he only asked for it one time --  and wasn't even upset when I said no.

I should consider myself lucky since we were able to nurse for nearly 16 months, and that when it was time to stop it happened naturally. But I can't help but to feel a pang of sadness when I think about the sweet times I spent nursing my little baby boy. Some of my favorite memories of him as a newborn are the days where it was just me and Kyle, home all day long. He would nurse for 45 mins or sometimes a full hour, and then sleep in my arms or on my chest for hours at a time. (Ahh, the luxuries of maternity leave with your first born!) I think I was holding on to nursing him because it was the last shred of little baby left in my big boy, who is growing so fast before my eyes.

It's a funny thing when you stop nursing, because it's not a big deal to anyone but you and it's not really something you talk about very much. It just happens, and you might mention it to people close to you, and then you move on with your life. But to me, it's turned out to be a very emotional thing and in a way I feel like I'm mourning a loss -- even though I'm so happy that my boy is growing up so healthy and strong. 

Kyle and I struggled at the beginning with latch (he used a nipple shield for 6 months!), and had a couple of rough spots: first with supply when I went back to work and missed some pumping sessions, and then when I had an extremely painful milk blister for almost 2 months... but overall, I loved our experience so much (minus washing all that pumping equipment 100 times a day, and pumping frantically in a yucky restaurant bathroom). It was our bonding time together and sadly it's over. But I know it was the right time and I am so proud of us and our experience.

mommy & Kyle - 2 months old

stripes on my clothes and feet

I am in love with this photo because it represents everything I love about this summer - relaxing days, pool time, sandal tan lines and my sweet boy by my side. All that's missing is an hour alone to sneak away for a pedi :) Happy Wednesday!

16 months

Almost every day either Brian or I says to the other "our kid is so cool!" Of course he has his moments, but at the end of the day we always chat about our times with him and what a fun boy he's turning out to be.

Here's some thoughts about our boy at 16 months old:

• He is so into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. So much so, that sometimes he will climb up on the couch, hand me the remote and point to the TV! He has also started to smile and laugh at the funny parts, which melts my heart. As a mom, I'm so torn about spending time watching TV in the house, but he loves it so much that we let him watch a few episodes a day, especially when it's time to wind down or when we all need a break (or mom needs to get some work done).
• Kyle loves to watch and learn. When we do something new, it takes him a little bit to warm up. He'll sit on the sidelines and observe, but by the end of our stay he's usually out there having a blast. He'll also watch Brian and I very intently do things until he has the hang of it himself.
• He's slowly starting to communicate using words. He says "bup bup bup" when he wants up, or more commonly when he wants me to get up (which is inevitably 1 minute after I sit down). He also says "down" and always says "ball" whenever he sees any type of ball. He loves to say "bop!" when he's popping bubbles (in real life, in a book or on the iPad). He says "bottle," even though I usually call it a "baba," which cracks me up. No baby words for him! It sounds more like "bah-doo." He is saying the word "more," along with the sign. And my mom told me that when she was babysitting the other day he said "Penny" clear as day!
• Speaking of the iPad, we've introduced him to a few games and he loves it, of course. He taught himself how to use the home key and swipes the arrow to open it. He calls it the "pad pad." I was reluctant to let him play with it, but it's pretty cool to watch him learn things, like animal sounds and puzzles. Everything in moderation, right?
• This kid is a pointer. He points at everything, and usually points appropriately! He points at the moon, at birds, cars driving by, or when he wants something out of the fridge. He also points at things in his book when he wants us to tell him what it is. 
• He LOVES being outside. He asks to go outside all day long and gets so bummed when we have to come back in the house. We take Penny for tons of walks (in the wagon, or with his tricycle) and go to the park every day to run around and play on the playground. We also hang out in the back yard and play with the water table, and Kyle loves to be in the garage with Dad. He gets to sit in the cars and touch all the tools - boy stuff.
• At almost 16 months Kyle stopped nursing, which was harder for me than it was for him. He pretty much weaned himself when we skipped a few night or morning sessions, and then just stopped asking for it. At this point he wasn't nursing very often/much anyway, but we were continuing because it was still working for both of us. But it's been about a week, so I think I can officially say he's done. Tear.
• Recently, Kyle has had a hard time saying goodbye to me. When he knows I'm leaving for work, he clings to me and puts his head down on my chest and won't let anyone touch him. He does fine once I'm out of sight and he stops crying, but the initial separation has been rough. He never used to be like that, so it's been hard having to break away from a screaming baby. Hopefully it's just a quick phase.

I'm really looking forward to having tons of fun this summer with my big boy! I'm sure by the time fall rolls around, the list of things he's doing will be 10 feet long. It's so amazing how fast this time is flying by, and how quickly he's growing and changing.

relax to the max

Yesterday, Kyle asked me to turn on his Baby Einstein farmer DVD and decided he wanted to get extra comf. He laid down like this to watch the entire video. I folded all of our laundry, and then sat there and watched him chill out with a huge smile on my face. He looked so old and cute!

park days (every day)

Most days, I feel extremely lucky that we have a huge park right in our back yard. Our actual back yard doesn't have grass, so we just walk right behind our house and - voila! Lately we've been practicing our "races" when dad gets home from work. I say "on your mark... get set... GO!" and then we all run as fast slow as we can, wait for Kyle to catch up and start all over again. It's my favorite.

The downside to all of this is that Kyle knows there's a huge park right in his back yard, and must go out there all the time - even when mom wants to stay on the front yard and have a snack, or enjoy some coffee in the actual back yard, or do dishes, or use the restroom, or do work. The park is always more fun!

father's day gift

We're celebrating Father's Day today since I have to work tomorrow (the joys of restaurant life), so this morning we took a family bike ride to breakfast and Kyle gave his daddy his gift: this super cute board book from Pinhole Press: 

These are just a few of the pages - every one is a different color with a picture of Daddy & Kyle, and I had Kyle "sign" the first page for him. I think it turned out so cute! We're also taking Brian shopping for some new work clothes later today. 

I hope all the daddies out there are having a great weekend! Can't wait to continue our celebration when Kyle wakes up from his nap. Brian is such a great daddy and we are so lucky to be able to spend some time together as a family today in his honor.

rock-a-bye baby

When Kyle was a little bit younger, around 7-10 months old, we tried to teach him to put himself to sleep at night. We read lots of books and blogs that said you should put the baby down in his crib when he's awake so he learns how to put himself back to sleep throughout the night. There was a quick period of time when this was kind of working and he would only fuss around for a few minutes before falling asleep (although I should add he wasn't sleeping through the night at this point). But when he got a little bit older - around 11 months - he would cry and cry and cry for us, sometimes for up to an hour, before he would finally fall asleep. At first we wanted to stick it out because we thought it was the best thing for him, but after a few nights without any improvement, Brian and I decided this bedtime ritual was not working for any of us. Instead, we forgot everything we read and I went in there and rocked him to sleep. We were both in heaven. 

I still rock Kyle to sleep every night, and it's one of my favorite times of my day. Some nights he falls asleep within seconds, and other nights it takes up to 30 minutes for him to be out like a light. Either way, I always hold him tight, sing him songs and rock him for a long time before I finally put him down in his crib. Last night he felt extra cozy and I sat there with him for 45 minutes before I was ready to let go! I feel like this is one of those luxuries you have with your first born; there's no one else around and it's just the 2 of you cuddling away for as long as your heart's desire. I'm taking advantage of this time when he's still small enough to fall asleep on my shoulder and still wants to snuggle with his mama.

For a while I was falling asleep in the chair every night and Brian would have to come wake me up. But now that Kyle consistently sleeps through the night and I'm getting better rest, I usually stay awake and it's just my quiet time with my boy. I won't lie - there are some nights when he just won't fall asleep, I have a deadline and need to start writing, and I'm so exhausted I fall asleep sitting up. On those nights, it's hard to wake up and get to work. But would the work be any easier if I didn't have that time with him in the rocking chair? I doubt it. I love this time with my sweet boy so much and I'm soaking it in every night.

(PS - should I even mention that some nights I stare at him and picture him as a sweaty teenager with tears streaming down my face? Or does that make me crazy?)

game changers {fridge edition}

As babies grow up, there's quite a few game changers that completely mix up your daily routine. There's the major ones, like rolling over (don't leave me on the bed anymore, mom! I will fall right off and break my head!), crawling (you have to poop mom? Cool. I'm going to crawl away from you as fast as I can and open the bathroom cupboard with the bleach!), pulling themselves up (oh hey cute frames on the shelves! I'm gonna pull you right onto my eye and poke it right out!), standing up in the crib (Oh, it's nap time you say? Well I'd rather stand up and scream for you instead! Go ahead, lay me down and see what happens next!) and walking (bye mom! I'll never sit still again!).

Then there's the less assuming game changers - some of them good and some not so great - like learning to put their own pacifier in their mouth in the middle of the night (whew!) locking a closet door when they're inside and you're putting laundry away (SOS), discovering how much fun it is to pull on the roll of TP when you look away for 5 seconds.... the list is endless.

Today's game changer may seem minor, but it was one I was waiting on for weeks now: opening the refrigerator on his own. Now every time Kyle goes in the kitchen (the place we spend the majority of our mornings and afternoons), you better believe he's opening that door to check out what's inside. He's been very interested in the contents of the fridge for months now; every time it would open his little hands would touch everything in reach and I'd have to pry him away to close the door.

How does this change my daily routine you may ask? I now have to teach him the appropriate times to open the fridge with my permission, or utilize the baby-proof mechanism, which means that every. single. time. I open it, I must first unclasp a latch. Game frickin' changer.

cuz you're happy?

If this is the happiest day of their life, why does it look like someone just told them their dog died? Even North looks miz.

I'm sure this photo will be viewed 1,000,000 times today and people will love it, but I don't understand these serious poses. It looks like they're sick. I guess I'm a bigger fan of the smiles in this instance (and really in every other instance). More "Yay! We're married!" a la JT and less "Do I look sexy right now?"

Shouldn't a wedding portrait showcase the joy you're feeling inside at that moment? Oh wait, maybe it is...

#kyleandpenny

About 2 months ago I had a terrible day with this wagon. Kyle refused to sit down in it, my back was hurting and I couldn't lift/carry him, so we spent 20 minutes fighting each other and both crying as we tried to make the 10 foot walk home. After that day I put the wagon away and knew we needed some space.

Now that Kyle has grown up a bit and (kind of) understands the rules that he needs to SIT at all times, the wagon is fun again! The past couple of days we've taken it to the park and ran around on the grass. We took it to a birthday party, the corner market and we also ride in style to gym class. This wagon was the present Brian & I gave Kyle on his 1st birthday in the hopes that we'd make many memories with it over the years, and we're already well on our way to doing that.

Also, I love looking back at old photos of Kyle & Penny together to see how much they've grown and to think of how much all of our lives have changed. Just 15 months ago our days were filled with snuggles, long nursing sessions, naps and... not much else. Penny thought she had a new buddy to sleep next to all day long, but she was in for a surprise! Now we are go, go, go all day long. Penny joins us in the back yard for water play, she goes on wagon rides, watches us at the playground, sits in the basket for family bike rides and has to always be on her guard for tiny hands grabbing her ears/legs/tail without warning. We're very lucky that Kyle learned early on to be "gentle" with his sister and other animals, but he's still a toddler and loves to play rough. Penny has been a trouper and is very patient with him, and also with me when I sometimes lose my cool with her after a stressful day. She's such an important part of our family!

snip snip

There's something about a baby's 1st hair cut that's a bit heartbreaking. Snipping off those delicate baby hairs is like shedding some of the "baby-ness" and a big step toward turning into a big boy.

We just had to go for it though, because those side curls Kyle had going on were getting out of control - they were a good inch longer than the rest of his hair. Brave dad took out his scissors and went to town, and he did a great job! ...and mom only cried for a second :)

summer bucket list

Last year Kyle was my little sidekick on summer playdates and adventures (he was 5-8 months), but wasn't old enough to enjoy/participate in the summer festivities. This year I'm really looking forward to doing lots of fun stuff with him, especially because he is obsessed with water and being outside! I can't wait to take him to the splash pad, swim with friends and make homemade popsicles. I am a little worried about his pale skin and keeping it protected, so I'm in the market for an easy spray sunscreen that I can reapply throughout the day (I've been using Neutrogena baby sunscreen, which is great but it's a mess to reapply). But in the meantime, I thought I'd make us a summer bucket list to get us me excited about the coming months:

• Go to the splash pad
• Homemade fruit popsicles (I need to find some molds)
• Concert in the park as many times as we can go!
• OC Fair
• Play in the sprinklers
• Swim with friends
• Fly a kite
• See fireworks
• Go for tons of bike rides
• Buy ice cream from the ice cream truck for the 1st time
• Do sidewalk chalk somewhere other than our back yard
• Make a tin foil river out front
• Make a water bin
• Ice chalk!
• Make sidewalk paint & get some brushes
• See a parade
• Do a 5K with Kyle in the jogger
• Go to a new park
• Do picnic dinners
• Go to the water park at my mom's house
• Farmer's market for yummy berries and corn

Cheers to summer! I need a tan!

wonderful new things

When I read this list of new and wonderful things you'll get to do as a parent on Cup of Jo last week I was cracking up at #15: "cut up a grape." The act of cutting up a grape isn't funny in itself, but the fact that I cut up about 30 grapes a day into 4 pieces wasn't something I thought I'd be doing as a mom before I had Kyle. I love these kinds of lists, so I thought I'd add a few of my own wonderful things to Jason Good's original list (below mine):

Wonderful Things You'll Get to Do (a la Krista)

1. Wash an average of 56 dishes a day.
2. Wipe someone else's booger on your pants (that you just pulled out with your pinky nail).
3. Use a breast pump in a public restroom.
4. Cry over a haircut that's not yours.
5. Become elated when someone else swallows a small piece of vegetable/smoothie/medicine.
6. Have inside jokes about Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with your husband.
7. Spend an entire night trying to sleep with your arm lifted above your head squeezed through narrow crib slats (am I the only one who's done this?!).
8. Spend a good amount of time examining and discussing someone else's private parts.
9. Take a shower in a tub that just moments ago was full of poop.
10. Give yourself a stiff neck trying to reach a pacifier on the other side of the car while merging onto the 405.
11. Fold the same load of laundry 5 10 times.
12. Have a favorite tone/volume setting for white noise.
13. Fall asleep sitting up. Every night.
14. Schedule time to run the dishwasher.
15. Think someone else's cellulite is adorable.
16. Learn to take a doorknob off and open a locked door in under a minute.
17. Encourage excitement about the trash man/street sweeper.
18. Spend an entire night putting too-small clothes in storage bins and holding back tears.
19. Have a TV in your house that for the last 6 months has only played the same Baby Einstein DVD.
20. Wash someone else's bedding an average of 20 times more a month than your own.
21. Open a granola bar with your hands inside the cupboard and then cram the whole thing in your mouth before you're spotted.

Here's the original list that had me laughing:

Oh, but the New and Wonderful New Things You’ll Get to Do
By Jason Good, father of two

There are, indeed, countless things you will no longer be able to do after having children, like grooming, learning, stretching and snorkeling. But don’t fret. Here are just a few of the amazing new things you’ll get to do instead.

1. Butter a piece of toast while peeing
2. Brush someone’s teeth against his will
3. Blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth
4. Help someone else blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth
5. Eat food that has fallen out of someone else’s mouth
6. Eat food you found on the floor
7. Eat food you found on the mantle
8. Eat candy you found in a shoe
9. Put someone in a Bob the Builder costume while fighting off diarrhea
10. Visit a psychiatrist
11. Wipe somebody’s nose with your bare hand
12. Eat baby food
13. Blame a fart on a child
14. Get someone dressed while you’re in the shower
15. Cut up a grape
16. Almost agree to cut up a raisin
17. Pretend to enjoy the flavor of a prune
18. Ask someone why their hair smells like yogurt
19. Ask someone why their hair smells like your antiperspirant
20. Put someone else’s toenail clippings in your pocket
21. Let someone watch you pee as they stare blankly while eating a Popsicle

Pretend City

Kyle and I had a free day yesterday - no plans, no pressing errands, no deadlines for me - so after nap time we packed it up and drove to Irvine to check out Pretend City. I wish we lived closer to this place because it is FUN for Kyle. He loves being independent and exploring and had a blast running around and touching everything in sight. He especially loved the sand and farm areas, and had fun in the "grocery store" sharing his eggs with a little girl he befriended (and then he held her hand... hmmm). I highly recommend it for kiddos who are walking! I'm sure it's germ central, but sometimes you gotta bite the bullet, right?