When Kyle was a little bit younger, around 7-10 months old, we tried to teach him to put himself to sleep at night. We read lots of books and blogs that said you should put the baby down in his crib when he's awake so he learns how to put himself back to sleep throughout the night. There was a quick period of time when this was kind of working and he would only fuss around for a few minutes before falling asleep (although I should add he wasn't sleeping through the night at this point). But when he got a little bit older - around 11 months - he would cry and cry and cry for us, sometimes for up to an hour, before he would finally fall asleep. At first we wanted to stick it out because we thought it was the best thing for him, but after a few nights without any improvement, Brian and I decided this bedtime ritual was not working for any of us. Instead, we forgot everything we read and I went in there and rocked him to sleep. We were both in heaven.
I still rock Kyle to sleep every night, and it's one of my favorite times of my day. Some nights he falls asleep within seconds, and other nights it takes up to 30 minutes for him to be out like a light. Either way, I always hold him tight, sing him songs and rock him for a long time before I finally put him down in his crib. Last night he felt extra cozy and I sat there with him for 45 minutes before I was ready to let go! I feel like this is one of those luxuries you have with your first born; there's no one else around and it's just the 2 of you cuddling away for as long as your heart's desire. I'm taking advantage of this time when he's still small enough to fall asleep on my shoulder and still wants to snuggle with his mama.
For a while I was falling asleep in the chair every night and Brian would have to come wake me up. But now that Kyle consistently sleeps through the night and I'm getting better rest, I usually stay awake and it's just my quiet time with my boy. I won't lie - there are some nights when he just won't fall asleep, I have a deadline and need to start writing, and I'm so exhausted I fall asleep sitting up. On those nights, it's hard to wake up and get to work. But would the work be any easier if I didn't have that time with him in the rocking chair? I doubt it. I love this time with my sweet boy so much and I'm soaking it in every night.
(PS - should I even mention that some nights I stare at him and picture him as a sweaty teenager with tears streaming down my face? Or does that make me crazy?)
