unexpected moments

Every so often, the crazy love I have for Kyle will hit me when I least expect it. It kind of feels like my heart may just burst out of my chest and onto the floor, or like a phantom "crazy mom ghost" is floating through the room and decides to stick her sappy hand down my throat with a bunch of lumps.

It sometimes happens during the typical moments, like when I'm rocking him at night and he falls asleep holding my hand, or when he looks up unexpectedly while we're reading a book for a long, sloppy open-mouth kiss. But sometimes it sneaks up on me, and during those times the lumps seem a little bit bigger because they seem to come out of nowhere!

The latest unexpected moment of mom-pride-love-sappycrazylady was when I let Kyle hold a food pouch for the first time. I know, it seems nuts, but something about watching him stand there in his big boy sandals that he loves so much and eating the food like he's been doing it all his life made my heart explode. You would have thought I was at his college graduation from the way I was holding back tears and wanting to run over and grab him and tell him how much I love him.

I never considered that something so trivial would conjure up such emotion. I absentmindedly handed him a pouch for a snack to try something new and thought nothing of it, but the second I saw him in action I was fighting back tears.

I can't imagine how many times the crazy mom ghost will come to visit in the next 10 years, or 20... who are we kidding, does it ever leave us completely?!

the lump maker! I can't take it!

1

Kyle, I cannot believe you are 1! Sometimes - ok, all the time - I just watch you in amazement because I can't believe you are my son. Not a day goes by that I don't pinch myself and wonder how I got to be so lucky to be your mommy! Your dad and I are constantly smiling at each other when we watch you play and learn because you are so smart, and funny too. We lay in bed after you go to sleep and talk about how lucky we are and how much we love you. We share stories about our experiences with you and just laugh and laugh because we are enjoying this time with you so much.

It is bittersweet watching you grow up, because we loved you as a little baby so much. But now that you're 1, we're entering a new time in our lives. We no longer have a baby in the house... but a handsome toddler who surprises us every day!

Here is Kyle in a nutshell at age 1:

• You kick butt at animal sounds and faces. You can do the elephant, cow, kitty cat, sheep, monkey, squirrel, bunny rabbit and you try to make the fishy face. You even make the sound when I show you the flash cards with these animals on them.
• You just started to color with crayons. We color a little bit in the morning and you enjoy it, but you really like to put the crayons back in the box. 
• You have a crazy arm. You can throw balls across the room and sometimes have pretty good aim!
• You are getting so good at walking, it's almost a run!
• You LOVE shoes. You try so hard to put them on yourself, which is hilarious. Usually you'll pick some out and bring them to me and then lie down and wait for me to put them on your feet. The best is when you're running around naked and want to put shoes on. How can I say no to that?
• As much as you love shoes, you dislike hats and other things on your body, like blankets. You take them off instantly.
• Your favorite toys are your tool box, your blocks (you just learned that you are not allowed to throw your blocks and set them down gently on the carpet) and cars. 
• Your favorite books are the ones with animals that you can feel. You are also really into the Very Hungry Caterpillar, and like to stick your finger in all the little holes.
• You love to "ride" (aka be pushed) your tricycle through the park and run through the grass.
• You are in your big boy car seat, but still facing backwards for now. 
• You sleep through the night most nights! Woohoo! Your bedtime is 8, but we usually end up having so much fun with you at night that we play with you until 8:30. Last night you slept 8:30 pm - 7:30 am without waking up once. Sometimes you wake up around 2-3 am and go right back to sleep when Dad goes in there to check on you.
• You take one nice nap in the afternoon around 11:30 am. You usually sleep around 2-2.5 hours!
• You're a pretty good eater. Your favorite finger foods are cooked apple pieces, banana, avocado (although you're kind of getting over it), strawberries, blueberries, cheese. You grub on any veggie puree, but don't like eating cut up veggies (mom is working on that). You don't really like meat yet, but you'll eat tuna off a fork.
• At your 1 year check up, you were 30 inches long and weigh 23.1 lbs.
• You looooove bath time. Dad gives you a bath every night and you guys have so much fun.
• You have lots of tricks now: you say you're "1" by holding up 1 finger, blow kisses, do "big sigh," fake laugh and cough, kick your feet and clap, "snap" your fingers to the music, dance, tell Penny "no no" by wagging your finger at her when she barks, say "hmmm" and put your finger to your mouth, and shake and nod your head for yes and no.
• You say "more" and "all done" with sign language. Next we're going to learn "help."
• You love to play with Penny. You throw her toys for her and try to put them right in her mouth.

I'll probably come back and add more to this list, but you are waking up from your nap now and I am ready to pick you up and get some snuggles. I'm loving this phase, where you are discovering new things every day and are so proud to show off your skills. I can't wait to see what you learn next!

a year in photos

I'm still mustering up the courage (and trying to find the time) to write a 1 year post for Kyle. But in the meantime, here's a video that I put together to show his family on his birthday. This puppy caused about 2,000 tears to fall from mom & dad!

 
Kyle's 1st Year from Brian Coriaty on Vimeo.

2 more days

My baby boy is 1 in just 2 days. I'm on a Goliath sized roller coaster of emotions, crazy busy and not ready to write the big 1-year post, so for now I'll just share this adorable photo of my handsome (MANY more to come) :)

8 hours, part 2

Big news. KYLE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT. 10-11 straight hours. I almost don't want to hit "publish" on this post in fear that I'll jinx it. But guess what I've been wondering: WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER?

I know why - I wasn't ready. But once it clicked, it was time and we were committed... it worked. It just took 3-4 nights of me avoiding Kyle's room during the night (Brian went in instead of me when he woke up), and he learned that the boob factory is closed until morning. Minimal tears. It was that easy. It was time.

I've been enjoying 8+ hours of straight sleep for a week now, and I'm not sure how I lived without it before. How in the world did I go almost an entire year without a full night's sleep?

Still debating if I should hit "publish."

eeek. Here we go.